Introduction

If your parents have separated and one has moved out, decisions may need to be made about which parent you will live with most of the time and how much time you will spend with the other parent. If you mainly live with one parent and spend some evenings during the week or time at the weekend with your other parent, this time is called ‘contact’. It is your right to have contact, as long as it is safe and in your best interests.

If your parents can’t agree on the contact arrangements, either of them can apply to the family court for a court order. A judge will then decide when, where, and how contact should happen. By law, the court must make a decision that is in your best interests.

What If I want more contact than I am having?

You should speak to the parent you live with and tell them what contact you would like. If you do not feel comfortable doing this, then you can speak to another adult that you trust for example at school or in your wider family. Contact is your right and so your wishes will be taken seriously.

If you’re not able to work things out with the parent you mainly live with, the parent you want more contact with can apply to the family court to settle the dispute.

In some cases, you may also be able to apply to the court yourself to ask them to decide the contact arrangements. For further information, please contact us using our contact form here.

What if I do not want to have contact with someone?

If you feel comfortable, talk to the parent you live with and explain that you don’t want contact and why. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, you can speak to another adult you trust, like someone at school or a family member.

What if there is a court order for contact with someone and I do not want to go?

If there’s a court order saying you should have contact with someone, but you don’t want to go, it’s important to talk to the parent you live with or another adult you trust, like a teacher or a family member. Usually, court orders should be followed, and your parent might encourage you to go. But if the contact is making you feel unsafe, if you’ve been hurt, or if you’re worried that you might be harmed, then the situation might need to be looked at again. In that case, an application can be made to the court to review the situation and change the order if needed.

Will I have to go to court?

If your parents go to court, you usually won’t have to go or speak in court. But an organisation called CAFCASS might be involved to help the court decide what is in your best interests. They may want to have a chat with you to find out what you think.

How old do I have to be for what I want to be heard in the family court?

It depends on how mature you are and how much you understand. Usually, if you’re 12 or older, the court will listen to what you want. But even younger children can be asked if the court thinks it’s right.

When will a court order for contact end?

A court order for contact usually ends when you turn 16. After that, you can decide for yourself who you want to have contact with and when. In some cases, the order might last until you’re 18, for example, if you have a disability. If that’s the case, it will be written in the order.